Why Abstinence?
I just received an email from United Families International. Some of the pro-family groups out there I find to be overbearing and even hateful. I don’t know a whole lot about this organization, but I thought this information was relevant and helpful:
The number of people walking around with STD’s is shocking. In fact, research presented last month showed that one in four teen-age girls in the United States (3.2 million) have a sexually transmitted infection (STI) – That means 25 percent of all girls ages 14-19 have an STI! at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National STD Prevention Conference
Common sense tells us that sexual abstinence until marriage is the only 100-percent proven way to prevent STD’s; yet more than 75 percent of all sexual education courses taught in our public schools are based on the active promotion of condoms, other forms of contraception and “safer sex.” The following facts are proof of why there is an epidemic of sexual transmitted diseases:
- Condoms failed to prevent the transmission of the HIV virus between 15 and 31 percent of the time;
- According to the National Survey of Family Growth, one in every five teens using condoms becomes pregnant within one year;
- Sexual activity prior to marriage leads to elevated risks of suicide, depression, substance abuse, anxiety and dating violence.
Parents must be teachers about many things in life, and sexual abstinence until marriage should be high on that list.
Here are some tips for you:
- Stay close to your children. Fewer teen pregnancies and STD’s result when fathers maintain good relationships with their daughters ;
- Support abstinence-only education and its funding;
- Monitor the “sex education” programs in your children’s schools;
- If you believe any of your children are sexually active, have them tested and treated;
- Encourage your children to think consequentially and to remain abstinent. Re-enforce this theme on a regular basis. Children respond to clearly communicated and high levels of expectation from their parents;
- Positive peer pressure on teens can work. Teens in religious youth groups will receive positive instruction from a youth leader and peer pressure from fellow teens to remain sexually pure until marriage.
Amy,
I so appreciate all the informational stuff you put on your blog. This is SHOCKNG – to think that there are so many people with STDs. I know that we will have to be very vigilant with our children. Thanks for the tips!
The relative value and cost of sex and virginity depends on age.
The level of trauma depends on age.
Certainly, an unplanned pregnancy is much more traumatic at age fifteen than at age twenty-five.
And of course, pregnancy is almost impossible at fifty-five.
What about STD’s? Certainly STD’s would be very traumatic to a teenager with a life expectancy of decades.
But an octogenarian is not likely to have a long life expectancy in any case.
Now let us examine the other side, which is virginity.
Virginity is not disturbing at thirteen, since almost everyone that age is a virgin.
But what about age thirty? Imagine someone knowing that everyone else that he knows, including his own family, has had sex and he had not. How would he feel? What would be the only rational way for him to feel? And what would his peers think of it? Note again that the value of the opinions of one’s peers increase with age. At thirteen, one’s peers are dumba** kids. At thirty, one’s peers would include people who are married and have kids and can support themselves.
From these facts, it is rational to conclude that the value of abstinence decreases with age, and can even become negative in some cases.
Michael – I’m not sure how you found this blog since I don’t know you, but I have to disagree with your comment. If a person gets an STD at 80, it’s not traumatic because they don’t have as long left to live? Really? Virginity at any age is not disturbing, in fact I think it is worthy of respect. I feel that peer pressure or feeling like you’re missing out on something others have is the wrong justification to give for sexual activity. Regardless of a person’s age, I believe that sex is a God given gift to promote intimacy and bonding between two married people (and of course to have children). I think this is the reason that many who have multiple partners start to lose a true sense of emotional security. I have friends who have fallen into this trap, and if they do marry after this kind of behavior they find it difficult to trust or be loyal to their spouse. Even laying morals aside, I feel that your argument is weak.
Well said, Amy. The arguments that come from those who promote promiscuity often support the ideal of abstinence; they adamantly defend their actions with self-justification, a sign of insecurity and guilt. How much better to have nothing to justify?
Exactly!!
It is not as traumatic for an octogenarian to contract an STD.
Ebola kills within five to seven days, so an Ebola infection is very traumatic for an octogenarian.
HIV takes over a decade to kill someone, and an octogenarian’s life expectancy is about a decade.