Keys to Happiness

I am currently reading through a little book called, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. It was written by Gordon Livingston, a man who has practiced psychiatry for over thirty years and has made many observations about life through his own and others’ experiences. There are thirty short chapters with titles like: We Are What We Do, Feelings Follow Behavior and The most secure prisons are the ones we construct ourselves. I am really enjoying the book so far because it is simple and straightforward and the short chapters allow for quick reads here and there. I am exactly halfway through and wanted to share some of his wisdom.

“Happiness is not simply the absence of despair. It is an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure…The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to”
For some reason I like to contemplate the idea of happiness. It can seem so abstract but summing it up with a little formula like he does makes it seem so simple. Although our busy lives can seem hectic and chaotic, it is so much more aggravating to have nothing going on. Having spent some time in retirement centers with my own relatives, I have seen the sadness in the eyes of some residents. I spent some time with a recreation coordinator at one of these places as part of a Joy School activity several years ago and she told me about how much the residents looked forward to the crafts and cookie decorating we would bring on our visits. I guess our visits provided all three aspects because they just loved being with little children and doing activities with them, and looked forward to our monthly visits. It’s also important to me that he says someone to love and not someone to love us. It is certainly easier to love when someone returns it, but it isn’t necessary for personal happiness.

“…most of our dissatisfactions with others reflect limitations in ourselves.”
So true! I have noticed that too. Next time you are annoyed with someone, think about how you would deal with the same situation.
“…there might be advantages to being depressed. One of the benefits is that it is a safe position… Because their expectations are chronically low, pessimists are seldom disappointed… To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness.”
Have you ever wished you were sick just so that your responsibilities would be taken over by someone else? I have! It is sometimes easier to be pessimistic so that you don’t feel foolish if something you were openly excited about blows up in your face. Wouldn’t it be better to hope for the best and be wrong than to bet on the worst and be right?