An Amish Lesson

This morning as we were hurriedly loading our children into the car so we could make it to church barely on time, Rob asked me, “Did you put those things there?” I looked to see the contents of our glovebox on the front passenger seat of the car. I then looked up and saw that the GPS navigator that was stuck to the front window was missing! Oh no, someone stole it. I’ve never been robbed before and was surprised at how violated I felt considering that it was a relatively small loss in comparison to what could have been taken. I thought, “that takes some nerve to get into our car and go through it as it sits in our driveway.” And then my mind wandered to who it might have been and I had a few guesses. I was upset all through the sacrament meeting at church and became mad at myself for leaving it in there and then not remembering to lock the doors either. Next my thoughts turned to how we never should have moved here and how frustrated I am with finding my place in this community. With Sabrina being 15 months old now I don’t always get a whole lot from the lessons at church, and since I was also a bit distracted by this incident, there weren’t any tidbits that got me thinking today. But since I have this goal to post something thoughtful on Sundays, I went in search of faith building stories and articles. I found what I needed on LDS.org (but Whitebinder is a good place to look too!).

I found The Healing Power of Forgiveness by James E. Faust

He tells this true story. I remember when it happened, but there are a few details here that were new and very touching:

In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.

A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.” Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.” It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord’s teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: “Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”…

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”…

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.”…

We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us “to forgive all men” for our own good because “hatred retards spiritual growth.”Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts, just as He did for the Amish community …

…society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice. Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.” When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. …

Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven.