Preserving our Blessings

At the last General Conference I just loved the talk that was given by Elder Henry B. Eyring. He always has a wonderful talk, and I look forward to hearing him speak. This time he spoke of the importance of preserving memories of the blessings we see in our lives daily. At the end he sums it up by saying, “Tonight, and tomorrow night, you might pray and ponder, asking the questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children? I will do that. And then I will find a way to preserve that memory for the day that I, and those that I love, will need to remember how much God loves us and how much we need Him.”

I would like to get these sorts of memories recorded for my family too. Whenever I think of it I like to ask the kids to tell about their happiest time from that day while we eat dinner. Tonight:

Hunter said: “During the Primary Program at church.” Which was very cute. The kids sang their little hearts out, and had their parts all memorized.

Emma said: “Making presents for Sabrina.” After church the kids were playing they were in a little clubhouse under the stairs. Sabrina was the queen and they made special gifts for her and a paper crown decorated with glitter and beads.

Hannah: “Thinging in a pogam.” Singing in the program- The soon to be sunbeams came up front and sang with the primary,”I’m trying to be like Jesus.” Hannah didn’t sing any of the words, she just stood there and smiled; happy to be standing with her best little friend Krista looking at all of the people smiling back at her.

Sabrina: “Happy.” She loves this new word that she learned a few days ago! Today was the first time she was in her nursery class for the whole time without Mom or Dad there too. Big day for her and us!!

Rob: “Making the apple pie, and snuggling on the couch with Mommy watching TV.” Rob has not baked a pie in a very long time. In fact, it’s been about a year I think. It was so delicious too. We always love his pies! At least three of us do. Hunter, Hannah, and Sabrina all gave their slices away after a few bites, but the three of us were happy to eat their leftovers. We had our short together time watching “Ebert & Roeper.” That’s always nice.

Amy: “Watching the primary program, walking to my visiting teaching appointment, and eating Daddy’s pie.” I love seeing the kids do their program and it brought back happy memories of when I was doing that last year as the secretary in the primary presidency. I miss that calling. -It was a nice day so instead of driving the half mile to see my sister, I walked.

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Keys to Happiness

I am currently reading through a little book called, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. It was written by Gordon Livingston, a man who has practiced psychiatry for over thirty years and has made many observations about life through his own and others’ experiences. There are thirty short chapters with titles like: We Are What We Do, Feelings Follow Behavior and The most secure prisons are the ones we construct ourselves. I am really enjoying the book so far because it is simple and straightforward and the short chapters allow for quick reads here and there. I am exactly halfway through and wanted to share some of his wisdom.

“Happiness is not simply the absence of despair. It is an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure…The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to”
For some reason I like to contemplate the idea of happiness. It can seem so abstract but summing it up with a little formula like he does makes it seem so simple. Although our busy lives can seem hectic and chaotic, it is so much more aggravating to have nothing going on. Having spent some time in retirement centers with my own relatives, I have seen the sadness in the eyes of some residents. I spent some time with a recreation coordinator at one of these places as part of a Joy School activity several years ago and she told me about how much the residents looked forward to the crafts and cookie decorating we would bring on our visits. I guess our visits provided all three aspects because they just loved being with little children and doing activities with them, and looked forward to our monthly visits. It’s also important to me that he says someone to love and not someone to love us. It is certainly easier to love when someone returns it, but it isn’t necessary for personal happiness.

“…most of our dissatisfactions with others reflect limitations in ourselves.”
So true! I have noticed that too. Next time you are annoyed with someone, think about how you would deal with the same situation.
“…there might be advantages to being depressed. One of the benefits is that it is a safe position… Because their expectations are chronically low, pessimists are seldom disappointed… To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness.”
Have you ever wished you were sick just so that your responsibilities would be taken over by someone else? I have! It is sometimes easier to be pessimistic so that you don’t feel foolish if something you were openly excited about blows up in your face. Wouldn’t it be better to hope for the best and be wrong than to bet on the worst and be right?

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The Last Lecture

I have a second cousin, Tammy, who I really don’t know. But I am learning about her through her blog that documents her family’s current situation. Her husband Bryce was diagnosed with melanoma at age 26 as the result of years of lifeguarding in the sun. After a year of treatment he was said to be cancer-free. Now six years later, he and Tammy have been married for four years, and 8 weeks ago he was told that his cancer had returned with a vengeance. Their lives have been turned completely upside down as they struggle with finding new treatments, dealing with oxygen, blood transfusions, trips in and out of the hospital, and their baby girl. I have read her blog, cried, and reminded myself how lucky I am to have the blessing of a healthy family, a loving husband and four fantastic, beautiful children. We just never know what tomorrow will bring, and I have learned so much from her family. I so appreciate that she is willing to share her experiences with us.

With all of these thoughts in the back of my mind I was moved when I heard the story of Randy Pausch, a computer science professor who recently gave his last lecture. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has just months left to live. His lecture is inspirational and embodies all of the things that he wants his three small children to know about their Dad. I am truly amazed at the grace I have seen in these two families as I have peeked into their lives. Their bravery and stamina is stunning.

Hug your family, spend time together and appreciate them… and then go put on some sunscreen!

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8kUTUIveyA

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Honorable, Happy, Successful Marriage

Before continuing on with my “how we met story” I thought it appropriate to take a break and share a lesson from church about having a successful marriage. I read through the lesson yesterday thinking it would be today’s presentation at church. Fortunately for me, things were rearranged so it will be next week. I spent that time in the nursery with Sabrina this week, so I missed today’s class. (Sabrina has been in the nursery class for a few weeks now, and I think we may be able to leave her there soon without too much fuss. So far she has liked having a parent as a wall flower, Just so she feels safe. We don’t mind though, she’s so cute!)

I loved this lesson from Spencer W Kimball. He is very straightforward and there are so many things in here that I think everyone contemplating marriage should read. And of course those of us who are already married should read through it and take a personal inventory.

“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations…

Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage is not a legal coverall, but it means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all…

The mere performance of a ceremony does not bring happiness and a successful marriage. Happiness does not come by pressing a button, as does the electric light; happiness is a state of mind and comes from within. It must be earned. It cannot be purchased with money; it cannot be taken for nothing.

Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness…

Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the ceremony is performed that stark reality must be faced. There is no longer a life of fantasy or of make-believe; we must come out of the clouds and put our feet firmly on the earth. Responsibility must be assumed and new duties must be accepted. Some personal freedoms must be relinquished, and many adjustments, unselfish adjustments, must be made.

One comes to realize very soon after marriage that the spouse has weaknesses not previously revealed or discovered. The virtues which were constantly magnified during courtship now grow relatively smaller, and the weaknesses which seemed so small and insignificant during courtship now grow to sizable proportions. The hour has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense, reasoning, and planning…

Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage. If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. …Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence.

There is a never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy and eternal marriage; but like all formulas, the principal ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage process are equally important, but not more important than the marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two individuals—not upon one, but upon two.

In a marriage commenced and based upon reasonable standards …, there are not combinations of power which can destroy it except the power within either or both of the spouses themselves; and they must assume the responsibility generally. Other people and agencies may influence for good or bad. Financial, social, political, and other situations may seem to have a bearing; but the marriage depends first and always on the two spouses who can always make their marriage successful and happy if they are determined, unselfish, and righteous.

The formula is simple; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.

First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters which are of importance to the individuals. And then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living.

Second, there must be a great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, subjugating self.

Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep love alive and growing.

Fourth, there must be a complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

With these ingredients properly mixed and continually kept functioning, it is quite impossible for unhappiness to come, misunderstandings to continue, or breaks to occur.”

Lucky for me I am in what I consider to be a happy, successful marriage! Reading through this lesson I have seen several areas that I can improve on though. Maybe one of the easier ones would be starting with a better system for date nights. The problem is that I don’t plan ahead and get a sitter. There has been a lot of talk in my circle about date night swaps. I may have to get in on that!

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September is National Preparedness Month

How many times have you put off buying emergency kits because you thought you would just do it on your own? If you’re like me it never happened. So I bought mine from Totally Ready and now at least I know I have that covered. It was nice the other day when our power went out for almost 24 hours and we used the glow sticks and flashlights when the sun went down. I also used mylar blankets during the day in my windows that get the most sun to reflect the heat out. They worked great and were nice and big for covering large windows and sliding doors. My Mom’s latest article, “30 More Days and 30 More Ways to be Prepared.” gives a list of all the things you can do to get prepared this month. I’m already behind, so you can catch up on last week with me, but this is what’s on tap for this week:

September 9th
As a family read “Members in Coalinga Respond to Earthquake” (Ensign, July 1983, 77–78). Mom and Dad should read the article “Ready to Go!” (Friend, Jul 2007, 8–11) and plan a similar exercise for Family Home Evening tomorrow.

September 10th
Hold a family home evening based on the article “”Ready to Go.”

September 11th
Evaluate your preparations to care for your pets.

1. Have you assembled 72-hour kits for your pets? These should include water, food, medications, up-to-date vaccination and other medical records, vaccination records, collar, toys, food and water dishes, and sanitation
2. Also be sure you have someone who will care for your pets, outside of your immediate neighborhood, if you need to leave your home.
3. Make a list of foods and medications you need for a 1 month supply for each pet.
4. Make a list of items you need to gather or purchase.

September 12th
Gather or purchase the items on your pet needs list and place them in a pet 72-hour kit.

September 13th
Place an extra set of important keys in adult 72-hour kits, safe deposit box, at work, next to your bed, and with a neighbor. Keys should include all cars, homes, homes of those you have promised to help evacuate, offices, recreational vehicles, mail boxes, and storage sheds.

September 14th
Add $10.00 to your coin bank for spending on emergency needs.

September 15th — Get the house ready:

1. If you live in hurricane country, take necessary measurements and purchase supplies needed to board up windows. Don’t forget screws and bolts. Take supplies home and pre-drill holes to make installation fast
2. If you live in earthquake or tornado areas, purchase items to strap your water heater and to secure large furniture items such as dressers and sideboards to walls, and then do it.
3. If you live in a flood area, purchase and place survival items in your attic. See Meridian articles: “Preparing for a Flood,” “Prepare Your Home for the Unexpected” and “Prepare to Evacuate!“.

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Temples and Sealings

Because my next post is all about my brother’s wedding in a temple, I thought I’d post definitions for those who are unfamiliar with my faith:

Temples are literally houses of the Lord. They are holy places of worship where individuals make sacred covenants with God. Because making covenants with God is such a solemn responsibility, individuals cannot enter the temple to receive their endowments or be sealed in marriage for eternity until they have fully prepared themselves and been members of the Church for at least a year. Throughout history, the Lord has commanded His people to build temples.

Sealing– An ordinance performed in the temple eternally uniting a husband and wife, or children and their parents.

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